Monday, March 16, 2009

Today I saw a five year old in only pyjama bottoms screaming at the wall of my classroom from the outside.

This child was very drunk.

Amen.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Why shooting fish with a spear is awesome...

Because their fear makes them taste so nice.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Sports and stuffs

This week is championship week or something, and that means that the high schools all bring some of their students to kolonia (the town) to compete in sporting events.

Sports are so popular here that people eat sports for breakfast. The most popular sports are volleyball, softball and basketball. Yay! volleyball and basketball are well fun to watch. So far our school, NMHS in Kitti, has been doing ok, winning one or two events, but generally we get beaten by PICS (the kolonia school).

Not that I'm bitter (actually I usually am), but it turns out that because PICS is the only school that has track and gym facilities, they tend to win everything. I actually tried to rectify this situation. I discovered that the buttons that the score on the gym scoreboard (which is awesome becaus it makes that MWAAAAAA sound whenever the time is up) is right next to a window. Windows here tend to just be chicken wire. Chicken wire with holes big enough to fit a stick through. So I fitted a stick through but couldn't quite reach the button.

But at least my students learned the valuable lessons that proffesional sports is mainly about cheating creatively. Why isn't there a recognized sport of cheating? Best sport EVOR.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Ants in your pants

Ooh look another post, and so soon....


Fantastic Fact Number 2:

I just looked down and realized that I did actually have ants in my pants whilst writing the last post. God I love this place.

Rants in your pants

Ok, so basically I have not updated this blog in such a long time (like forEVER) that I had to spend 15 minutes on google to find it again. But I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT. I realized that the reason I didn't update my blog is that because it was (to me) boooooring. So now I officially hereby knight this blog as a rant-blog, so that I will actually write on it, because of course I loves to rant. I rant until I have ants in my pants.

So here is Rant Number 1:

Arrrr!!! I have been well into spearfishing, which is this awesome form of fishing where you get to look the fish in the face before you catch it, which is much more up close and personal. But but but... now I have gotten some kind of crazy ear problem which means that I can't go swimming and so all the fishes are mocking me. MOCKING me!

Here's how the ear problem occured: I was swimming underwater with the speargun (so in technical terms I was, as they say in the trade, "spear.....fishing"), when, from out of nowhere appeared SEVENTEEN sharks with ninja capabilities. Although I subsequently defeated all sharks mentioned (spinning-bird-kick to the alpha male), unfortunately they all shouted RAAAAAAA!!! when they appeared, and I was like WTF! and that made my ear get poorly.


Oooh, wait, I also have have a fantastic fact:

Fantastic Fact Number 1:

It was my birthday (w00ts!) and so me and other peoples went to kolonia (which is the main towny place on Pohnpei) and we went to this bar called the rusty anchor. The rusty anchor is the bar of kings. Actually, its whack, or at least it would be if it wasn't for its awesome view of the sea. It used to be cool because it was derelict. But then they foolishly tried to repair it.
Then after that we went to flamingo which is this foonky dance place and I danced. My dancing made the flamingo (the totem spirit of the dance club) cry beautiful tears because it has been many millenia since it witnessed such subtle rhythmical motions. Everyone in the club however was crying HORRIBLE tears because - as many of you know - I dance like a bag of smashed crabs. Then the next day we went to the joy restaurant, which is so called because it rests on a natural underground deposit of nitrous oxide. And whilst there I ordered a cheeseburger. "Can I has cheezeburger?". And they said "yes".

So there you has it, a genuiiiiine update. Next time I will write something you might actually want to read. Now wouldn't that be something...